Hey Human, it is The Cat here. Yes, I have embraced modern technology. When I want your attention, email is a lot easier than hacking a hairball onto your Facebook wall (or into your shoe).
Anyhow, it occurred to me the other day that you don’t know a lot about me. Sure, you acknowledge my loveliness and intellectual superiority, but you’re suffering from a severe lack of knowledge when it comes to interesting facts about my species. Allow me to enlighten you with a few choice tidbits.
1. I have approximately 60,000 hairs per square inch on my back and a lush 120,000 hairs per square inch on my underside. So stop complaining about fur on your pants and toast. I have plenty to spare, so enjoy my generosity.
2. I can run at speeds of up to 30 mph. Remember that the next time you try to beat me into the bathroom. You’ll never win.
3. When I rub up against you, it’s not because I want food (okay, not always). I’m actually marking you with my scent. If you’re fool enough to pal around with another cat, he’ll know you belong to me.
4. I really like grass (no, not that kind). A nice pot of wheat grass would look lovely in the windowsill. Moreover, nibbling on it will help my digestion (and keep me away from those scraggly specimens you call houseplants).
5. I have super-sensitive hearing. In fact, my hearing is greater than yours (and even the dog’s). While I love a good power ballad or some Swedish death metal as much as the next cat, please keep the stereo down to a nice, quiet roar.
Do you have any of your own interesting cat facts or tidbits? Please share them with us today.