Cat in Your Lap–The Best Excuse to Stay Put

Whether I’m on the couch or at my desk, I usually have a cat in my lap. This benefits me in many ways. For one, I’m rarely cold. The normal feline temperature range is 100.4 to 102.5 degrees Fahrenheit, while the human body lingers around 98.6. Add a space heater to keep my feet toasty and I’m happy as a Florida retiree—even in the dead of winter.

While coziness is supreme in my book, perhaps the best advantage of being pinned down by a cat is that it is the best excuse to stay put—at least in my house. If one of the girls is lounging in my lap, my husband will swap out the laundry, scoop the litter boxes, fetch the mail, bring me a beverage, and even cook dinner. Of course, I do the same when he’s paralyzed by fur.

Friends who come to visit are less accommodating. While we take care to weed out those who are allergic before close bonds are formed, it has proven difficult to determine in advance who will indulge our kitties’ passion for cuddles. At times I’ve considered writing a pledge, one that must be taken before anyone enters our home.

It might go something like this:

I (visitor’s name) solemnly swear to put the needs of (cats’ names) before my own. I will allow them unfettered access to my lap at all times. I will not remove them until it is time to go home or I really need to pee. I will express appreciation for their affection, unsolicited or otherwise, and promise to fawn upon the feline in residence until he/she becomes tired of my praise and leaves of his/her own accord.

Do you get out of housework when you have a cat in your lap? Try it sometime and let us know how it goes in the comments.

Julie Perkins

About Julie Perkins

A self-professed "crazy cat lady" and slave to three furry masters, Julie loves all things fuzzy. Throughout her life, she has been owned by cats, dogs, rabbits, gerbils, hamsters, fish and even a hermit crab. A freelance writer who has perfected the fine art of typing with one hand (because there is a cat on top of the other one), she lives in Colorado with her husband and a menagerie of critters.

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